as i walk through the valley of the shadow of death, i take a look at my life and realize there's nothin left

I don't know what the fuck happened last night, but I do know that I made the acquaintance of two boys, who introduced themselves to me and everyone else at the party as "Slim" and "Big Nasty". They sat in a corner all night and didn't say much, but were kind enough to enlighten me as to what the opening lines were for "Gangster's Paradise".

What's a Gardener's Favorite Magazine?

Weeder's Digest!

office parties

Does anyone else find office parties extremely awkward? We had one today, in honor of Saint Patrick's Day. Like anyone here is Irish. Wait, I think someone said they were "half". On second thought, that dude was Asian. Must have been a joke. My bad.

Anyway, all 40 of us gathered in the conference room that holds 10 people, to pick delicately at the food spread that covered the table. We bumped into each other awkwardly "um...sorry just wanted some pizza before fat dude in the corner eats it all", and then scramble try and find a place to eat, either in one of the coveted chairs, or those who fail to get a chair, the floor. Of course, there is the awkward standing room too. And then the even-more-awkward "standing in the doorway" room.

I think I would love office parties if they consisted of just me. Eating all that food.

Pi(e) Day: Success

I made a delicious pie, a Linzer Torte for Pi(e) Day, on 3.14 (2010)!



Please click on the photo to get the recipe which I highly, highly recommend!

exciting new developments!

5:30 girl was right on schedule, but this time carrying a yellow post-it. ok, that was not the exciting part. that actually takes the excitement out of it. the exciting part is that she said "hi!" to me, as she made her way back to her own god-damn suite.

sex

When you don't like the person, it's okay to just go ahead and do it for fun, right?? My weekend in a nutshell. Okay, I thought it would be fun, but it was just awkward.

i just pooped, EVERYWHERE

What can I say? It's hard to poo in a cup, guys! I don't know how those 2 girls did it. I am talking about giving stool samples here. I don't do those other dirty things. Jesus.